#ripped it from my hands and smashed it on the ground ๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป but yeah. the harder you fall the higher you fly or whatever.. and 3 yrs ago
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at around this time 3 yrs ago i was having my first panic attack after which i would barely leave my bed for 2 days <3 happy february 8 to you and yours
#purrs#i was in brighton on a field trip w my cohort and i was sooooo fucking homesick and we went to the seven sisters cliffs and i was looking ou#out over the water feeling depressed and then we went to alfriston and ate weird food in a creepy cafe and THEN we went to battle abbey or w#whatever it was called and all of my friends went off without me and i was alone wandering the grounds and the sun was sickly bright and i w#went into some of the shops but couldnโt find the things i needed and then my stomach started hurting and my heart started pounding and i go#got on the bus early and the other girls in my cohort were being mean to me and then we went back to campus but got dropped off super far aw#away from the dorms and i was feeling worse and worse and i collapsed in bed and ummmmm. it got worse and worse and then i redacted and then#i barely left my bed for 2 days and scared my entire family and almost went home ๐ค i will never forget how helpless and wretched i felt#and i am not glad that it happened but im glad i decided to stay bc 10โdays later i met one of my best friends and she was the reason i#suddenly started feeling at home and finally safe and like.. actually becoming this fully realized / independent version of me. until covid#ripped it from my hands and smashed it on the ground ๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป but yeah. the harder you fall the higher you fly or whatever.. and 3 yrs ago#today i fell hard and hopefully i will never fall that hard again bc i have never been so scared in my life lol#brighton
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